| August 15, 2004 |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|11:51 am] |
so its been about six months since i've last writting in here. nomeda told me i should write an entry so here i go:
its funny reading these things after not having read them for so long. very humorous ha ha. ive been home alone for a week and my parents are coming home sometimg today- bah bah. that means i have to clean the house like a mofo.
prescott is in japan, for one more week i have no prescott. i miss him much and it's strange to not...be able to contact him in any way. through phone...nothing. poop.
i drew a drawing last night that i like. i think i will give it to him as a gift, since it represents us.
last night i dreamt about the apartment again. i dream about that place practically every night. in my dreams it is always a lot more spacious then in reality. there is also a lot of tension involved in the dreaming. im just really excited to have my own space...for the first time. (: woop! |
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| Tu Smirdi |
[Feb. 20th, 2004|11:12 pm] |
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Im going back to school sunday, my first class (monday) begins at 8am and goes on till 5:30. uugh..i am not looking forward to going back to this insane insane insane schedule. will i have time for anything else but work? im afraid not ): |
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| Frederico Garcia Lorca |
[Feb. 10th, 2004|06:21 pm] |
Sonnet of the Sweet Complaint
Never let me lose the marvel
of your statue-like eyes, or the accent
the solitary rose of your breath
places on my cheek at night.
I am afraid of being, on this shore,
a branchless trunk, and what I most regret
is having no flower, pulp, or clay
for the worm of my despair.
If you are my hidden treasure,
if you are my cross, my dampened pain,
if I am a dog, and you alone my master,
never let me lose what I have gained,
and adorn the branches of your river
with leaves of my estranged Autumn. |
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| Eu Smel |
[Feb. 9th, 2004|08:24 pm] |
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i want to enter your world. so detatched, soft with beauty-alive. our worlds should collide. your air is blue, mine is a black night sky. sensual beings roam the darkness- they tittilate the air. |
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| MOVIE |
[Feb. 7th, 2004|07:15 pm] |
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movie everyone must go and see- CITY OF GOD I think it's playing in most mainstream theatres. It was wonderful yet awful and changed how i see a lot of things. |
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| Poo Poo |
[Feb. 7th, 2004|05:56 pm] |
Today I explored an abandoned factory. The windows and doors were all boarded up except for one small, square window that we crawled through into a large, dusty room. It was filled with papers, clothing of small children. there was a woman's shoe in the corner. On a table lay a pile of cheap makeup and a woman's razor. We were cold and lit a fire in a metal waste basket and ate doughnuts. Two of the boys, familiar with abandoned-factory exploration, proceeded to climb up a dark staircase to the rest of the building-lighting the way with a small keychain flashlight. The place smelled like stale piss, rat shit, and dust.
The second floor was bright-plenty of windows. Papers-mostly receipts-covered the floor, along with wooden crates and miscellaneous metal objects. The walls were ornate with graffitti-some really impressive stuff too. Got me thinking about it, my drawing teacher once told me I would make a good graffiti artist because of the fluidity of my line. I imagine myself tagging the few abandoned farmhouses near my town.
Within the larger halls were small offices. On the door of one was written- "J&D's Room". Inside was a grimy carpet, a mattress, and a small table at the center. A highschool textbook, dungeons and dragons, and a book on mythology, some other random books too. A fake baby skeleton hand lay on the table next to poor sketches of it. In one corner I found a bag of dried cherries, a CVS receipt dating from July 2003, and an opened condom wrapper with the green condom lying not too far from it.
We walked all the way to the other side of the factory and then went down to the first floor again to another big hall/room. This one did not contain as many windows. At the center of it was some sort of stage created with plywood planks and an office chair as an audience seat. Through a dark hallway, we saw a room that looked like a chamber. The door to this room was thick and on it was written "Niggar Closet-Shut Door Behind You". The keychain flashlight found the room to be almost empty-a cement cell-except for a tiny table in the back left corner. Steve went to examine the ambiguous lump on the table and said it was a pile of panties. I felt really scared all of a sudden.
We left to shoot a scene at the abandoned train tracks. There was an abandoned little house, what must have been a conductors post or something where we were shooting. We looked through the window of the first floor and saw that the floor was covered in probably five feet of ice. A mans black coat hung by the window. The front door was unlocked, but frozen shut from the ice. It seemed to ooze out from underneath the door. There was a stairwell to the second floor and the door was completely open. We walked up there to explore. It was a single room with two blankets on either side. Two rusty file drawers stood slanted and opened-soggy files piled out from them. There was pornography everywhere. Playboys, anonymous clips, there was a cut out clip put inside an envelope. A few shoes lay in a crate, only one of each foot. There were also condom wrappers everywhere and tampons too. More tampons than condoms. But mostly porn. It really creeped me out-i hated that place.
Especially the first floor. Why would there be a five foot layer of frozen ice on the ground?
I'm exhausted - what a day. I'm going back to the factory in a few days to take some pictures-I really missed out on some great ones. |
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| Early in the Morning (aka 1pm) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2004|12:03 pm] |
I woke up to be served breakfast in bed to the sounds of LOST IN TRANSLATION. I need to take a shower but a maintenance man is in the bathroom fixing the soap dispenser.
BLIND LOVE, by Tom Waits is what is playing for me right now - makes me think of all the people I love back home who I miss...very much...it'll be nice to be able to see some of them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|11:29 am] |
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Infibulation (a.k.a. Pharaonic circumcision) which is a clitoridectomy followed by sewing up of the vulva. A small opening is left to allow urine and menstrual blood to pass. 1 A second operation is done later in life to reverse some of the damage. In some cultures, the woman is cut open by her husband on their wedding night with a double edged dagger. She may be sewn up again if her husband leaves on a long trip. |
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| Just Kidding |
[Jan. 31st, 2004|01:32 pm] |
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the mood of my previous entry was sarcastic. please dont take it seriously. |
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| Last Day |
[Jan. 31st, 2004|01:19 pm] |
It is the last day of February and I can sense Spring in the air-just sense it-just a faint whiff.
I bought a roll of film for my camera and I am planning to take some beautiful photographs (of what?) I don't know yet. Perhaps I'll do a series of photographs on the evil practices of bisexuals. The photographs would portray the true nature of the bisexual humanoid: drugged out, emaciated, soulless creatures performing sordid deeds. They will all surely burn in Hell and I want to enlighten the world about these evil underground population. |
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| One In The Morning |
[Jan. 30th, 2004|11:41 pm] |
I'd like to play a trumpet right now.
Bill, is definitely, an amazing person. Bill, you rock my world. (: |
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| Two In The Morning |
[Jan. 28th, 2004|10:16 pm] |
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I am sick. I can't breathe out of my nose. The garbage is beginning to seep under the door to my room and i hear a mouse tinkering with some moldy bits of grilled cheese under my bed. At least it's propped high enough that no mouse could successfully snack on my toes while i sleep. snot rags everywhere. snots snots snots dribbling out of my snot congested nose. the back of my throat burns like burning snots. |
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| I am seriously ill |
[Jan. 27th, 2004|09:53 pm] |
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i woke up with a very sore throat. i ate some lentil soup and a piece of bread. then i drank a bottle of water. then prescott brought up some tea, fruit, water, vitamins (the vitamins are kept in what used to be his pot baggie) and warm music. now i am listening to warm music and munching on Ricola. i need to return a fucking movie tonight-the movie place is so far away. i want to cuddle up with Squishy and Triangle and finish reading. Perhaps i will make more tea. |
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| Marius Smells |
[Jan. 26th, 2004|08:16 pm] |
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Sigur Ros is what I'm listening to right now- I dreamt once that my future husband will have a slight underbite. Now whenever I see a man with a slight underbite I think- could he be my husband? |
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| Today |
[Jan. 25th, 2004|08:10 pm] |
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Today i began making my theatrical puppet with painted face. Her/His torso got burnt but that's ok. I think He/She will be clothed in a lavender dress with red/pink garter ruffles sticking out. The cafeteria caught on fire tonight so I had to postpone my dinner until 8. Marius thinks that Eminem is the best rapper out there-I think he's dumb to think so. You smell Mariau. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2004|02:23 pm] |
Last night I dreamt of an anteater. It was black and white, running around in my sister's room-he was a parasite-dirty, dangerous much like a scorpion or other exotic, malicious bugs. It was large and my mother said to step on it. Green ooze and guts would splatter my leg if i did so i refused.
Somehow the anteater was helping me write a musical. The musical was set in Nazi Germany-the Jews were played by Anteaters similar to the one found in my sisters room. I was sitting on a bus with the anteater in a bag next to me when he began to crawl out. I was afraid and disgusted-although the anteater was helping me write the musical I could not help but feel absolutely disgusted by his presence-the presence of a gigantic mealworm. As the anteater perched next to me, i began to notice his black and white patterned coat change colors-slowly undlate to a light green, then pink. It was amazing. I looked down at my piece of paper and wrote a few lines of song for the musical:
"run run run run run for your life! Your wont find love with your hand in a knife!"
I remember the tune to this line-it's very catchy. it's been playing in my mind over and over again all day.
i dont remember much else...the anteater's i called an Armadillo. To me he was an Armadillo, but he resembled more of an anteater. he was magical. |
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| My First Entry |
[Jan. 24th, 2004|05:33 pm] |
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I woke up at three. I ate a Panini. Read until Four. Slept until Six. Ate a bag of cookies (my food intake has doubled within the past week). Then I took a shower- I scrubbed my feet but did not wash my hair. Then I ate the last cookie. Then I looked at Pigeon Lady and thought-how will I capture pigeon lady with the tempera with glazed panel painting-my teacher said "vilija, why do you dress so elegant here, this is not downtown Vilnius. Put on the apron". Now I will put lotion on my face then search for someone so I don't get trapped inside my head-i wish i had money for drugs. |
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